Quick Jokes

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.

Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
A: They're hiring.

Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam."

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q: What's a cat's favorite breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

Q: How does a lion like his steak?
A: Medium roar.

Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.

Q: What do cats like on their hot dogs?
A: Mouse-tard.

Q: What is a little dog's favorite drink?
A: Pupsi-cola.

Q: What is the first letter in yellow?
A: Y. Because I want to know.

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a luxury car?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance?
A: Put a boogie in it!

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep!

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because sheep don't have string!

Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
A: He's all-right now!